just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
