I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
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I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
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Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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