I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
