I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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