talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
