I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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