I think I am morally bankrupt
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
