Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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