oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
