I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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