Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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