I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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