just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
