wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
this is an emotional support booty call
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
