went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
