omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
