I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There r osticjed everywhere
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
