yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
