i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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