the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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