Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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