Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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