and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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