She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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