I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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