By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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