It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
