Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
