We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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