Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
