R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
