what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
