So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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