i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You're like the curious george of whores
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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