you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
