Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
