found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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