Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
3pm strippers are depressing
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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