That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
