She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
