yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
