Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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