true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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