There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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