Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
