Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
