I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
