sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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