Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
