Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
