Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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