i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
