Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I cockslap morals
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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