Don't you send me to vm
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
