Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
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I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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