I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
