I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
