your parents love me but you hate me
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
