Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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