she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
