Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How's work?
Spinning.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
