Cold hands, warm shart.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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