Do you still have your period?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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