Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
