I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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