i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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