i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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