On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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